Handling the Time Apart
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Here is an e-mail my ex just sent me. We are not supposed to be talking --- taking a break at my request because I want us to be together now and she does not. What should my responce be???? How do I handle this????? I really want to run over to her house and give her the biggest kiss ever, but that would be bad --- so what????????
I KNOW I SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS BUT I NEED TO KNOW HOW ARE YOU--- I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I FEEL GOD IS PUNISHING ME IN A VERY CRUEL WAY. MY HEART ACHES BUT MY HEAD KEEPS SAYING THAT THIS IS RIGHT FOR US TO BE APART--BUT I WISH IT DID NOT HURT SO MUCH.
Well, talking is the core of any relationship - whether it's a friendship or a boy-girlfriend relationship. I imagine you guys took a break on DATING but not on BEING FRIENDS. So tell her that you want to come over and just talk to her, as a friend. You can't just "not talk" if you have things to say, that would be really, really unhealthy. It would be like having a diary but refusing to write in it because you wanted to punish the diary or something. If there are things to communicate, the worst thing you can do is refuse to talk about them "just because."
So call her and say that you want to come over and talk, as a friend, because communciation is THE most important thing two people can have. Nothing physical. And then talk! Have her explain as well she can what she feels. Why does she miss you? God is certainly not punishing her!! God does NOT punish people in this way. SHE is punishing HERSELF. So why is she doing it? Why does she feel it's right to be apart? What does it "prove"? Remember, your relationship with each other is all about YOU and HER. Do you two enjoy your time together? Do you support each other? Do you talk to each other? If so, then what exactly is the "bad part" of being together?
Definitely go and talk. If nothing else, you have to learn how to talk about difficult subjects as part of growing up. If you can't talk about this, how can you possibly talk about more serious topics in the future?
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com