I'm Jealous of the Puppy
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
This is embarrassing but recently after Christmas my boyfriend got a new puppy and I adore the puppy but yet I'm so jealous of it and I don't understand. I just get so mad because right now I already feel as if I give more to the relationship and then I see my boyfriend giving the puppy more affection and attention than me. Why is that?
I'll stay over and he'll start to cuddle with me when we go to sleep then he just rolls over and cuddles her. I've told him how I feel but he thinks I'm ridiculous and I'm to the point where I feel as if I shouldn't come around because I feel so invisible to him. We've been together over a year and I feel like the relationship is getting stronger on my side but he just gave up trying to impress me and smothering me with attention and when I try to ask for attention he doesn't understand what I want.
All I want to to be treated like I used to be treated. How do you not know what to give someone when you gave it to them in the beginning?
RomanceClass.com Advice
You said that he cuddles with you - so obviously he isn't ignoring you! It sounds like you need to read about the stages a relationship goes through :) They are here -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/stages.asp
NO relationship stays at its high power courtship levels forever! You say that he has changed - but actually BOTH of you were in high-hormones lust at the beginning of your relationship. And then both of you matured into a more mellow form of love that can last the years. This involves you being best friends who are in love. You no longer need to "prove" your love to each other. That's the whole point of love and trust, that you know you are there for each other without having to prove it over and over again.
Why do you want to be smothered with love? Do you really feel he needs to go that overboard in order for you to feel like the relationship is worth it? Yes, we all like to get flowers occasionally. And if that's what you long for, then mention it to him! Valentine's Day is coming up. But if you start demanding flowers weekly as proof that he loves you, then something is wrong.
Love isn't about impressing each other. Love is about accepting and supporting each other's dreams. -- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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