He's still in love with his last girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I love my boyfriend very much . before he was to love a girl and they love each other very much . but the mums girl she told her to leave him so they left each other . at that time i asked him that can you be my boyfriend but not from the first time. he was shocked i loved him two years , i told him that i loved you from two years and he told me give me time to think the first time he told me no i dont want to be your boyfriend the second time he told me ok i will be your boyfriend. then we stayed with each other 6 monthe but i think he was playing with me to tell his gilrfriend that i have one because when she left him she had a boyfriend .my parents knowed they told me to leave him but i didnt because i loved him . so they took from me the mobile and i couldnt talk with him very much. so the girl who loved her very much told him that i need u he didnt think he told her ok he left me . his parents went to lebanon and her parents went to lebanon so they met with each other only two times.when they came from the vacation she went to another country and he stayed at the same country i stayed .i mean we were in the same school his girlfriend and me and also him. so she went to another country and me and him stayed in the same country he still love her but now he is with me just playing with me to show himself that he have a girlfriend and he is talking with her at the same time but he is talking with her like he love her but with me he is playing i dont know what i can do i need him to love me am doing what he likes his . what i can do?
It sounds like you have very open eyes about the situation which is very good. You realize that he still loves this other girl, and you realize that he's probably using you to help him feel better about not being with her, and to say "Hey, I have another girlfriend!" to her.
I do have to agree with the other people that are telling you to find someone who DOES love you. One of the difficult lessons you learn in life is that you can NEVER make someone love you. There is simply no way. Think of someone you really don't like in your own life. Now imagine this person fell in love with YOU and wanted to force you to love him. It wouldn't work, would it? He just isn't your type. It's not a "bad" or "good" or "unfair" thing. It's just a fact of life. Certain people really work well together and love each other. Other people just don't. So you have to find someone who IS a good match for you.
Love is about accepting someone completely, good or bad, without trying to change them. You are actively trying to force your boyfriend to change so that he loves you. That right there is a sure sign that something is really wrong. You can't look at your partner and think, "I have to change him!" That's not healthy. Love is about acceptance. So love this guy, and accept that you two can be great friends but that you can't be boyfriend-girlfriend. Let that part of your dream go, because it's not a reality. Let yourself look around at all of the other guys that ARE around you that might be a good match for you.
If you spend all your time and energy on someone that wasn't meant to be, you're going to be unhappy and frustrated. Instead, accept what you two CAN have, which is a strong friendship, and that you love him. You can of course love your friends! But for the true boyfriend-girlfriend connection, find someone who can truly love you back, for what you are. You deserve that!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!
Don't get pregnant