He Drinks a Lot

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
First of all, I met this guy at the State Fair last year in October. We started talking about the event occurring at that time and he finally decided he will ask me for my number. I gave him my number and he called that same night. For some reason, depending on my mood, I was nice but still I had a mental/emotional wall up inside me because I did not want to be hurt anymore. So it took about 2 weeks for me to go out with him.

I was kind of hesitant. Something just did not feel right, but i just went with it. We went out to the movies the first date and he was on time, however, he had been drinking but his behavior was not all that bad, we went out to eat, and went back to my place. We had a very nice time, and the next day he came over, still a nice man. We stayed at each other's residence, but when i stayed at his place he had been drinking, but i still dealt with it.

Then he stopped coming over my place and i was always going over there being that my second job was near him. He did a few nice things for me and in return one day i sent him flowers to his job (which he really enjoyed), however, i had to work that night and could not be with him that night. We only been dating for about 3 month going into the fourth month. Out of that, I have only enjoyed the first and half of the second month with him.

Sometimes I call him and he does not return my calls and then we he does he ask where I been because I got to the point when i call and leave a message, I will just wait for his call. Am i wrong to do that. He has been drinking alot and it seems that everytime i be with him he has had a few drinks. Am i that difficult to be around? What should I do, i feel that he has potential to be a good person. Should I break it off with him or hang in there and give him plenty of space. Please help, hopelessly in love with this strange man

RomanceClass.com Advice
We all have different levels of alcohol that we are comfortable with, but it is critical that we ARE comfortable with that drinking level. If it bothers you, then it is too much, and that's that. If two people who love drinking 2 beers every night get together, that's fine. If two people who never drink at all get together, that's fine too! They are both quite happy with the situation. But if someone who never or rarely drinks gets together with someone who is always drinking, they're both going to be unhappy.

So if your guy is drinking 1-2 beers a night and it makes you uncomfortable, then talk to him about it. If he's drinking MORE than 2 a night, that's a level that is really considered to be unhealthy. And in that case I would definitely talk about it with him. But if he really is an alcoholic that's a tough thing to shake and is usually full of denial. You should ask yourself if you're really ready to go through that with him.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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