I'm 15 and He is 23. Should We Date?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I work with this guy and we get on really well. We have loads in common, well so much so that Ive never met any guy like him. We flirt all the time. He pushes me, smiles and winks at me all the time. My two best friends say its obvious that he really likes me because of the way he acts around me and they say you can tell by the way he looks at me. I know he thinks I look a lot older than I am because he told me so.
The problem is he's 23 and I'm 15, nearly 16. I really really like him and like I said we flirt all the time. He keeps trying to impress me and shows off when Im around and at our Christmas party, he apparently couldnt take his eyes off me. Do you think he is attracted to me???
There is one problem. Two other friends said that if i carried on this way with this guy they would disown me as a friend. They says he's horrible and is using me but they've never even spoken to him before! They are forcing me to choose between him and them. If they were in my position, of course Id be concerned for them but Id be there for them no matter what and I'd certainly remain friends with them.
My best friends are really supportive but I just dont know what to do. I know I'm mature enough to handle the flirting and even a relationship with him. I know not to be pressurized in to anything. They know how i feel about him, please please tell me what to do!
Actually the first problem is that he is way past being an adult and you are a minor. If he was to date you it's not even like he's just "over 18". He is 2 years past 21. This would be illegal and he could be hauled off to jail.
If you guys are really meant to be, then it would be best to maintain a great friendship for another year or two. Keep up the flirting, enjoy each other's company. Go to movies and dinner. But keep it at the level of best friends. Again, if you two were meant to be together, you will be together for decades. That is a REALLY really long time. To spend a year or two at this point right now to build a healthy base up could be critical. If you guys rush into things, it could cause everything to fall apart as you get a lot of pressure from all around you. But if you take it slow, you will PROVE to everyone that you guys are serious. When they see you're still great friends after a whole year, and then after two, their objections will fade away. That's what you need to aim for.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com