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A Love Quote
We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain

I Treated Him like Dirt - Now I Want him Back

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I use to date this guy last year and I really did know him like that. The only reason why we dating was because I want to have sex with him.

So i haven't heard from him for about a month and I ended the relationship. When I seen him again I never let him explained, so i stop calling him. He would call and i would tell people to say I'm not here or he would ask my best friends about me everytime. One day he called my best friend's phone to talk to me but I didn't want to so he could hear my friends forcing me to talk to him.

Now I'm having feelings for him and now that I'm calling him he's doing the same thing to me. His brother said he still like me but I hurt him for what i did. so what am I suppose to do or say to him?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Whether or not you primarily wanted sex out of this guy, you were in a relationship with him. He was (and is) a human being. He deserved to be treated fairly. If you treated him like dirt, avoiding him like you did and mistreating him, are you even surprised in the least that he is having second thoughts about involving you in his life again?

It doesn't matter WHY you broke up before. It matters that you were capable of mistreating him because "you lost interest". So what's to say that even tho at this second you happen to like him, you won't lose interest in a short while and start treating him like that again? That is not something that ANYBODY deserves.

The only way you are going to have a relationship that works with this guy is to really show him that you have matured and grown up since you last dated him. You have to prove to him that you are more aware of peoples feelings and more sensitive to it. So be his friend. Show him you're willing to take the time to listen, to spend time with him just having fun, to share your own life with him. It's going to take a lot of time and energy to really prove to him that you've turned over a new leaf, but it'll be worth it!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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