I want my Shy Ex Back
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I want me ex back but hes the type of person who is shy and laughs every time I try and talk about little problems. He does this because he doesn't know what to say. He has never had a girlfriend before and he's 21.
I can understand his shyness. He sometimes flirts with my mates but maybe he doesnt realize he is doing it.
RomanceClass.com Advice
Communication in any relationship is CRITICAL. It sounds like your ex really never learned how to communicate well. If you want this to work, you have to teach him and help him learn. If he doesn't learn, he's never going to be in a relationship that goes well because as soon as he hits a snag, the relationship will crumble.
Yes, it's hard for him. It's hard for everyone. But it's time he start learning to do these things. He's not a kid any more! Find a quiet time when you guys can be alone and sit down with him. Tell him you want to try dating him again but that it is important that you guys TALK when you have any concerns, issues, problems, etc. That yes it's not always easy to talk but that it is really important. Ask him what bothered him the last time around. Really encourage him to talk. Tell him a few things that bothered you and then tell him how you think they can be resolved this time around. That might get him going. You have to find ways that you two TOGETHER can fix issues. He needs to learn that speaking up is his duty and responsibility.
I have a how to talk page here -
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp
that is really what you two have to do!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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