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Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. --Jean Anouilh

My Girlfriend has fallen for a New Love

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend is 20 and I am 23. We have been on and off datind for about 2 years. I am totally in love with her and I trust her with all my heart. She says she is in love with me and wants to be with me. She recently became friends with a guy at work, she has only known him for 3 weeks. Next thing I know she is coming home from work and going back just to hang out, she went bowling with him, and they spent an entire day together on a little trip. We recently went on a vacation together. Her "friend" is calling constantly knowing that she is with me, her boyfriend. I guess I just expected her to say hey I am with my boyfriend on vacation I will talk to you later. Instead it was the opposite.

Now we are apart just to see how things work because she "need space". However, she did say that she loves me and she wants to be with me. She thinks that I don't trust her and thats why she broke up with me. She has a history of depression and trust issues with guys because she has been "used" pretty bad in the past. I am not like that though, I am totally in love with her and I want to be with her for the rest of my life. Even if she wants to be friends with this guy, I have never told her she couldn't be friends and I dont tell her who she can and cannot have as friends.

I guess i just need some advice on how to show her I love her and trust her and how to deal with me jealous insecurities. I know she loves me and wants to be with me and I know she would never do anything with this guy. Any advice is definitely appreciated.

RomanceClass.com Advice
Actually, come back to the site (romanceclass.com) and look in advice, and look at the long response I just posted to someone else on

The old boring love and the new exciting love

That seems to be EXACTLY what your girlfriend is going through. I don't think you're unreasonably jealous or insecure at ALL. Quite the opposite, I think she met this new guy, she got swept up in how "exciting and new" he was and is going after him because she's forgotten why you were so special to her.

She should have friends yes, but you are her boyfriend. For her to be doing all of this makes it sound like she's caught up in the 'new lust' rush of this other guy. Maybe she hasn't dated enough to realize that ALL relationships start with that rush of lust, ALL relationships then fade into a more mature love. So maybe she's chasing the rush again, which is unfair to you and isn't going to work well for her. Because, as she'll soon learn, there's always another rush to chase. And if you keep destroying relationships left and right on your persuit of the latest rush, you end up alone.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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