I drove her away, now I want her back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am 24 years old. I broke up with my girlfriend 4 months ago, after 3 years in a relationship. She was always the one who had to give, the one who made the sacrifices. She used to love me so much, and she wanted us to get engaged. I was afraid of commitment and we broke up.
Now i still love her and i thought about it a lot. I think i am ready for a commitment. But she is seeing someone else now and she is serious about him. She refuses to see me.
Is there a way to show her that I have changed?
It's actually a good thing that she wouldn't just abandon this new guy to jump back to you. If she was willing to toss aside any relationship she was in for something that might be better, what would it mean when she was with you? You'd be worried any time she looked at another guy that she was getting ready to jump again. You want to be with a woman you can depend on, not one who will run off given the opportunity.
So you need to wait and be there if / when she breaks up with that other guy. Most relationships end up in breakups because people are "trying out" a variety of relationships before they settle on one that really works. That's a normal part of life. So instead of trying to drag her away from this guy, give her the time to see on her OWN that this guy isn't right for her and that you are.
How can you show her that? Show her the qualities that are critical in any relationship. Friendship, honesty, trust. The very best relationships are between best friends. So be her best friend. Don't pressure her. Listen to her. Talk to her. Spend time with her in a low key way. Show her that you're always there for her, that you are willing to make time for her. That you think she's valuable enough to spend time and energy on her without demanding anything in return.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com