My Boyfriend is a Huge Flirt
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have a few problems and well I hope you'll help me because I dunno what to do, and I'm about to cry (I dunno why tho).
But anyways...me and my boyfriend have been going out almost three months, and I know in three months you can't get too serious but I love him a lot. And he just means so much to me its unbelievable. But well there's girl and I know he used to like her and well at the start of our relationship he was still flirting with her a lot. Then he stopped but now he's back to doing it again and A LOT! I mean he will sometimes forget I'm there just to flirt with her.
Some people even think my boyfriend and that girl (which happens to be one of my best friends) are going out. And every time he does it I just act like it doesn't bother me, but deep down I'm so angry.
It's getting really annoying and I dunno what to do. Please help me, and please please don't say we should break or something, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
The big problem here is that this guy is your BOYFRIEND - supposedly the guy that you trust with your life, that you can tell anything to and who you know all the secrets of. And here is something completely tearing up your life, and you are lying to him about it?? Why would you ever, ever lie to your boyfriend about something so important?
If it bothers you, TELL HIM. That is what he is there for, to support you. You are there to support him. You are supposed to help each other out. If you are being hurt by something, he is supposed to help you find a solution. If HE is the one hurting you, it is critical that you tell him! If you can't even talk to him about a flirting situation, how can you even possibly talk to him about the many much more serious things that can come up in life?
So think of this as a really minor test of how strong your relationship is. This is about the smallest speed bump there is in life. And so far you're hiding from it! Tell him it bothers you. That it feels like he is disrespecting you in public. Others think he is dating this other girl because of his behavior. It's not like he's just winking at a girl to be friendly. He is causing the reputation of your relationship serious harm. Which is NOT how a boyfriend should be acting.
Yes, guys can flirt. Yes, guys can have female friends! But to damage the reputation of you or your relationship is wrong. If he is crossing that line, and harming you, he needs to stop. And YOU are the only person who it is appropriate to be having this talk with him. So it's time you stepped up and had that talk.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com