She Likes me - She Has a Boyfriend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm 17 and there's this girl in my class, I met her in September on our first day in sixth form and I didn't really notice her at first until a few weeks into term when she started chatting to me and I never really thought anything of it as you would.

Then in the middle of October we started looking at each other and general messing around like play fighting so I could sense something. Then a week later we were doing a test and I was kind of messing around with her, then she whispered ‘'I like you'' and I thought she meant as a friend and I said ‘'what was that'' because I kinda didn't hear properly and she said ‘'nothing''. Later on that day I realised and was planning to confront her but then the following Monday she tells me that she has a boyfriend (he isn't made up) and I decide to bite my tongue and say nothing.

Over the next few weeks she didn't let up with the flirting, she continued to stare at me, call out my name a lot and just generally do completely pointless things like calling my name out FIVE times as I was walking out the door and watch me as I talked to this other girl, i remember she gave me this thing where you could make a wish and she said i'm over here (like she wanted me to wish for her). There was this one incident when we fell out over something and I went up to her and apologized and I touched her arm but pulled away because I wanted it kiss her but she has a boyfriend, a second time we argued she told me how she hates arguing with me.

Last month I was talking to this guy in my form and he was saying how he knew her from previous school years, he was telling me how she craved attention from guys and she would hit them if they ignored her.

Today I was sitting in class waiting and she walked in and stood at the other side of the table where we sit but nowhere near she sits which seemed completely pointless to me and said look at my hair but she didn‘t ask anyone else. She does crave attention a lot where we're sitting through the endless lessons of boredom which may contribute to her behaviour, she hits me sometimes.

I know she liked me back in October but she's with her boyfriend now and there happy so I have no idea what's she thinks now. It's not like I can confront her because her boyfriend is kind of a friend of mine, my friends say she wants attention from me and nothing else and I agree but then I remember what she said to me back in October. Advice
It's important to realize that people don't have on-off brains - they can like lots of people at the same time. Think of a mom that has 3 kids. It's not like she loves only one and doesn't like the other two. She loves all 3 in their own special ways, all at the same time.

So this girl has a boyfriend, and she really cares for her boyfriend. But she likes you a lot too, and even told you so. She has great fun flirting with you. That's fine! Most girls have male friends they flirt with even if they have a boyfriend they love. The two are not mutually exclusive things. Flirting is a normal, healthy part of life. If you go to countries like France, the entire nation flirts, from the smallest 3 year old to the oldest 90 year old. It's a fun part of life.

So enjoy your flirting, enjoy your friendship. But don't look at it as a "starting stage" to something more. It is what it is - which is friendly flirting. If you are interested in actually dating someone, it's time to widen your horizons and find a girl that is available.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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