Flirting With a Guy
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
There is this guy that I like. He is 16 and I am 14. I see him in school and stuff but I mainly talk to him on msn. Sometimes he says I should call him so we can hang out. And one of my friends asked him if he likes me and he said yes. But I am to worried to call and ask him if he wants to do something because first off I dont even know what to talk about with him and second I dont know what we would even do.
He is also friends with my best friends brother and he is in a different grade and all so it would be weird if I hung out with him and his friends. But I just want him to like me and I want to be able to talk to him in school and stuff.
So my question is What types of things should we talk about? What should we do if i can gain enough courage to call him? How can I get the courage to call him? How can I get him to really notice me and maybe start to like me?
I also need some advice on another subject. Sometimes he will talk to me about making out with him and just asking me if I would and stuff and other times he is interested in the things I like to do and other times I feel like he hates me. So how can I tell if he likes me or not?? Sometimes I just feel like the only reason he talks to me and wants to make out with me is because he is horny and he cant get any other girls. Not many girls think he is attractive but I do!
This guy already talks to you on MSN and wants you to call him - of course he likes you! Guys don't waste all that time on a girl they hate :) You already talk to him on MSN so it shouldn't be any different to talk to him in person. So call him! Just pick up the phone and hit those buttons. You call other people, right? So call him and talk to him. You shouldn't invent special things to talk about or try to figure out the "perfect lines". The most important thing in any relationship is honesty and the ability just to talk. So the place to start is right now.
As far as the whole sexual part goes, you need to really make sure you get control of the issue soon. One of the biggest issues between age-gap dating is that the older person respects the younger person. The older person should NEVER pressure the younger person or try to get them to do things they're not comfortable with or make them feel they have to do something to "prove their love". He should NEVER be pushing you to kiss him or do anything else. You need to be very clear on this. I know it's exciting to have an older guy interested in you and you want him to like you, and you don't want to say no sometimes. You want to do things to make him happy. But believe me on this one, if you do something you are uncomfortable with, YOU will be the one who has to live with that for the rest of your life. He won't care, weeks later, he'll just remember that he had fun. But YOU will remember that you got pushed into something. When you are older and look back on your "first kiss" or whatever it will always stick in your mind that you were pushed into it. That's a really awful feeling to have. So wait until YOU are really and truly ready and comfortable and happy with it. These are very special moments in life and you only get them once. It is really worth waiting for that one special time, that one special place, that one special person to make them things that are worthy of that memory.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com