A Messy Relationship Triangle
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My best friend got involved with one of her guyfriends, but he has a girlfriend i'm friends with. Everyone knows the relationships are both unhealthy and getting too much for everyone who knows anyone involved to take.
I want a simple way to tell his real girlfriend, with out pissing off my best friend or anyone for that matter, but i also know it's not my place to tell her. I know he won't and my bestfriend wants out of all this insanity.
What can i do to help everyone?
Your girlfriend is being used by this guy. It's easy to justify being the "other woman" but believe me once a guy cheats on YOU it suddenly doesn't seem so harmless any more. You say she wants to get out - why doesn't she simply stop seeing him? It's not like anyone is forcing her to be with this jerk. She simply doesn't open the door when he comes over, and doesn't answer when caller ID says it's him. If he stops her in the hall, she can tell him "go back to the woman you're betraying". And she should tell his girlfriend what is going on so the girlfriend at least knows the truth.
If your girlfriend won't do this, ask her why not! Does she really want to look back on this stage of her life, for the REST of her life, and have to accept that this is what she was capable of doing? She's really hurting herself here. She's the one who has to live with her past. If you do nasty things in your past, they come back to haunt you, when you're sitting home alone. It's your own self esteem you're destroying.
If she is really so weak that she does what HE wants and not what SHE wants then as a best friend I would say it's time to take action. Just send an anonymous email to the other girl and tell her what's going on. She can confront the guy and get it all out in the open. It's bad enough that nobody else respected her enough to tell her the truth. Someone has to do it.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com