My Jealousy is Destroying Our Relationship
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm way too jealous and it's destroying Our relationship. How do I stop?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and I'm extremely jealous. I can't stop it. I know that I'm pretty and other guys want me but there's only one guy for me now and the one that always accepted me for who I am.
A few months ago his mom died in a deadly car accident and since then he became kind of cold. I cannot put myself in his position and it's hard for me to think about me losing my mom expecially when we're close. My mom means a world to me.
He usually would go out to see his friends and I would get mad at him and always yell at him acusing him of cheating. We're in a long distance relationship and I miss him so much. The next time we see eachother will b in a month. I can't wait. We talk about getting married and having a family all the time. He would tell me that he loves me all the time and that i'm the only girl he wants to be with. And also how I helped him ever way throughout his mother's death.
Sometimes he would go to his friend's house and spend a night and honestly I'm not happy about it. I kept asking myself what if he gets drunk at a party and can't control it and goes off to b with someone else? He says whenever he would drink he can control it and that ther's no one else for him except me. I have been hurt in the past, my boyfriend cheated on me with my bestfriend because I wouldn't sleep w/h him. I'm not that type of girl who just gives it up whenever I get a chance to.
I love my boyfriend very much but please help me!!! I don't wanna lose my boyfriend just because of my jelaousy. I don't wanna drive him away.
It's critical you get this jealousy under control now before it destroys your relationship. Make that your #1 priority to work on every day. Your boyfriend needs his friends! He even needs FEMALE friends. You can't say that the only way you will trust him is if he never is confronted with temptation. You have to TRUST him that he loves you and respects your relationship. If you can't trust him no matter WHAT situation he is in - drunk or sober - it isn't going to work. All relationships are founded on trust.
So read this how-to
and work on it. Talk to someone you trust about this - a parent, a minister, whoever. Either you learn to trust him completely, or it's not going to work. You can't trust him "under certain conditions". You have to TRUST him, completely.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com