I'm Jealous about the Ex
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have recently fallen in love with a guy, we are absolutely head over heels for each other. He has an ex, who he has known for 7 years, three years of which they were together. It was quite a dysfunctional relationship, where they became very co-dependent.
Now that she knows he is serious about me, she has slowly started making moves on him. She hasn't exactly said she wants him back, but her behaviour suggests otherwise - she would definitely like the option to have him back.
My problem is I can't get her out of my head. I know how much he loves me, and trust him completely, but I can't help but think what with their history and everything, she has some hold over him. From what he has told me she is quite warped, and I should be wary of her!
How can I overcome this jealousy, it's doing my head in. I would like to say to him cease seeing her, but I know that is ridiculous and unfair to impose that on someone.
Everybody has an ex in their life of some sort or another. You need to accept all of what your boyfriend is - including his past. All of those events have helped make him what he is today, which is someone that you love.
I have a lot of tips on dealing with jealousy here -
you need to trust him that he will stay with you. You need to accept that the girlfriend is a part of his past. Soon enough she'll find a new guy of her own and be out of your life. Just focus on your relationship until then.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com