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He Left Me, I Did All the Work, I Want Him Back



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend of almost 3 years just broke up with me a month ago. He still calls me (more than before)and we've still been sleeping together, but not as often. He has dated a few girls, and he tells me about it. At first he'll have nice things to say about the other girl, but he always finds things wrong with them and he tells me all about how inconsiderate this one is or how opinionated this other one is.

I'm just really confused, he says he still loves me, but he isn't in love with me. I try not to hound him about it, and I told him maybe he just needs to date other people for him to realise what we had...but it's just so hard. He broke up with me because I was jealous that he never seemed to have any time for me but insisted on going out and partying with his friends.

He works 12 hrs. a day 6 days a week so I used to take care of everything for him, laundry, dishes, cleaning, making sure the bills got paid, and I kept him more than satisfied sexually. I just put so much of myself into making this work, I don't want him to think I'm giving up, but I don't want to make him feel like I'm pressing the issue because it'll only push him away.

Any suggestions for winning him back?
Thanks for your time =)




RomanceClass.com Advice
It sounds like he is getting everything he wants here. He gets to sleep with whatever girls he wants and you are always around to rely on, too. On the other hand, you're getting a raw deal. He pops in, uses you and then vanishes again. That's really not fair to you.

Something you have to accept in life is that other humans have their own agendas which don't necessarily match yours. He wants to live the fun life of sleeping with lots of girls. You want to be monogamous. It may simply be that you need to find someone else who wants to be monogamous, because it's not him. You should try expressing this to him and starting to look for someone who is monogamous. Maybe if he realizes that you are serious and that he is going to lose his 'easy safety net', that monogamy is something he wants too.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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