He Got Skittish and Took Off

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I meet this guy who I sorta worked with. I work for the company that owns our local mall and he is a tenant there. Anyway things started off great. We had a lot in common, personal, family & business wise. We got a long great. He had told me that he has never felt this way about anyone in his life before. In the past he was a liar and a cheater and said that after he meet me he just wanted to be honest about everything. So on and so on. We got a long so well. Even if we were just laying around on the couch together or hanging out with friends it just seemed like we were meant to be together.

Anyway, right around Thanksgiving things started going bad between us. My ex was calling all the time and my current boyfriend did not like it. I told my ex to stop calling but he didn't so I just changed my number. So afterwards when I started calling my bf, he wouldn't answer his phone, I'd call and he wouldn't return my calls. When I did talk to him he would say that it was his new phone and that he wasn't trying to ignore me, that things were really stressful with his business. (Which I know to be true since I work for the Mall office. He owes our company a lot of money and his sales aren't doing so well) I gave him the benifit of the doubt so I said that I wouldn't call him at all that weekend. So that he could get the things done that he needed to. That I didn't want him to feel like he had to call me or try to arrange time to see me when he had more important things to worry about. That I knew his plate is full, and I understand that I might have to put on the back burner for now. I didn't want him to feel like he had to spend time with me, because I might get upset or that I think that he was trying to blow me off. So I didn't call him at all.

That following Monday I called him in the morning and he acted like he didn't want to talk so I told him that I would call him later and have a good day. I called several times that day and no answer or call back. So that evening on my way home I stopped by his house and his car was there but he wouldn't answer the door or his phone. So I left him a message and said that I didn't understand why he would blow me off like that after he said that he would never treat me like any one of his ex's. I didn't understand. I got a call from him the next day on my VM and he stated that he wasn't at home that he was at one of his stores and that he left his phone at home as well. That what was going on between us couldn't go on any further because it was too overwhelming, stressful and insane.

My heart is broken. I don't understand how someone can look at you and say that they care about you and never would hurt you like you have been in the past and do this. Now I know I am giving you a short version of this story so it may be hard for you to completely answer my question. But do you think that he was just playing me to get what he wanted or maybe he was scared of how he felt about me and pushed me away? When we last spoke he was like the xmas holidays are going to be insane and maybe after that if I was still around or if he was still around we would see what happens. This all happend around the first of Dec. On the 21 he called but left no message. When I called him back he did answer his phone but said that he must of "accidently" dialed. Hmm! He acted like he didn't really want to talk so I just let him go.

I just don't know what to do. This time of year is hard on both of us. So I'm trying to just give him space cause I do want us to try to work things out but I'm not even sure if that is what he wants to do. We will run into eachother that is a given. This all is just overwhelming for me.

RomanceClass.com Advice
To be honest, he's not cheating or lying. He's just too busy to keep a relationship going right now. That could really, honestly be true! I would wait until after the holidays then start seeing him IN PERSON to talk about things. You can't trust voicemail messages for these sorts of discussions. Go out to dinner with him and really discuss it, face to face.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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