Bad Moon Rising
Visitor's Question from a unknown year old Person
I am a working, single mother of 2 beautiful children. My problem is my boyfriend, he can't understand why I don't want to live with him, spend every waking moment with him. I get up at 5:30 am five days a week then come home and juggle homework, supper, laundry etc. He insists that if I let him in my *world* he can help me out more and I won't find it so tough being a single parent. So I gave that a try, let him come over, spend days at a time with us and he was a great help when it came to having chores and stuff done. Still, I don't feel ready to have him here all the time. It doesn't make me feel happy when he's here all the time. If anything I feel like I am being smothered and don't have time for myself and the kids. I cannot get him to understand this. He keeps telling me " You have to let go of something in order to gain something" (meaning if i would just let him be here with us all and stop being so independant it would make my life easier) but the truth is, I just want my independance and time for myself. I feel tired after a full days work and spending time with my children. How do i get him to understand that *I only want to date him* and that *I don't need him to help me out* if anything I'm more unhappy when he's here 24/7. He gets sooky, emotional and that makes me feel even more guitly. I love him but all this guilt is making me want out of the relationship. Also when he's here with me, he expects me to be in full sexual tilt when the kids are in bed. Sometimes that isn't until 9-10 pm at night. After being up from 5:30 am the last thing in my mind is sex. I've explained this over and over to him for the past year and we've split up briefly over it. He backs off for abit, we do the dating thing (were we see one another on my days off) but within a few weeks it just starts all over again. Should I just give up and move on with my life? I know i'm not ready for a 24/7 relationship but I am ready to have a boyfriend. Someone to laugh with, hangout with, get out of the house with when I need time away from work and the kids and someone who just wants to cuddle (BUT ALSO LIVE THIER LIFE AND HAVE OUTSIDE INTRESTS)
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It sounds as if your boyfriend has co-dependent tendencies and has little if any empathy for a working mom and for children's needs.
It also seems that you know the answer to your own question. If you can't be with him 24/7 now, imagine how your life will be if you do move in together or get married.
There are many other independent men out their that would appreciate your situation. Follow your heart and do what's best for you and your children.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com