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Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river. --Malagasy Proverb

My Jealousy Makes me Physically Ill

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
This is another jelousy question, because I get so jealous to the point of feeling very sick in the stomach/nausea. If the person I love, mentions another girls name, even as innocent as it is, i feel sick in the stomach.I can't shake the feeling of jealousy, sadness, fear...

I am 22 and this is a big problem for me, as right now I am getting very close to a person whom i love, and just thinking of them speaking to someone else, admiring someone else, even in a friendship way makes me lose sanity i guess. And though I trust them with all my heart, I still feel sick at the thought of someone else meaning something to them. I know that I can't be this jealous, it's not healthy but I can't help this feeling that engulfs my body at the mere mention of another girls name. I hate it. And though they know I get jealous and don't try and hurt me in anyway I dont want to drive them away by expressing how jealous i am. I think they know this in some way.

I am what you call a hopeless romantic, i am waiting for my soulmate, who I have met. I have been in true love once before....I know the difference between love and lust. I dont want to feel sick and sad everytime my soulmate mentions another...what can I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
You can help the feeling. You and only you control your own emotions. For example you control that when you get jealous that you don't run around screaming at the top of your lungs. You control that when you see this guy you don't cling to him like a crazed spider monkey. It's just a matter of making the same choices about your other reactions. I have a ton of tips on the site about dealing with jealousy issues. You have to work on this problem very seriously. It will easily destroy your relationship. It's one thing to be a hopeless romantic, which involves a healthy love. You are obsessed which is NOT healthy. Romance involves trust. Obsession involves anger.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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