Her Jealousy Drove Me to Another Woman

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I love my girlfriend to death and we have great communication with eachother. Weíve been together for 3 years and plan on spending the rest of our lives together. For the past few months, we have fought a lot about one of my female friends and me wanting to spend time with her. All I want is to be able to spend time with my female friend, just like any other friend. My girlfriend however, gets real jealous of other girls and makes sure that I know about it. She wants me to herself every spare minute every day which is very suffocating. Itís turned into a thing like I am in trouble if I do spend time with my female friend. Weíve talked about it extensively but she refuses to be okay with the fact that I want to have female friends.

In turn, I secretly spend time with my friend, who is now ďthe enemy,ď whenever I have time away from my girlfriend. Now, unfortunately, Iíve gotten in too deep and developed some strong feelings for my friend and she has for me as well because of the problem that my girlfriend has created. We havenít acted on anything nor will we ever, but there are still feelings between us. I know I am wrong for lying to my girlfriend and having feelings for another but I donít think that I am wrong for wanting female friends. I donít think I would have fallen for another if I could have been unrestricted to begin with. What do I do now?

Do I tell my girlfriend everything that happened behind her back? Is there a way to remain friends with another girl who I almost cheated on my girlfriend with? And how do I get my girlfriend to stop being so clingy and jealous?

RomanceClass.com Advice
Re-read what you just wrote. Everything is great between you two - but you're cheating, you're always fighting, and you think this is going to last long?

You MUST be fully honest with your girlfriend. If your solution to problems is to lie and cheat, your relationship will never work.

Once you are fully honest with her, you have to cut back on seeing his "Friend". You can make all the excuses you want, but you're the one who fell for another woman. Guys who do that ALWAYS have excuses. You didn't have to cheat or lie or anything else. You chose to do these things instead of working with your girlfriend on the issues. Now is the time to start being mature and actually focussing on the relationship, if you expect to keep it.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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