Dating a Divorced Man
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I am dating a man that I have known for a little over two months. He has been separated from his wife since Jan this year and still working on final divorce proceedings (home & kids are involved). It sounds like he went a few months without looking for anyone. Then started looking and dating but never went out with anyone for more than 3 times until we meet. We have enjoyed many happy times (have several things in common) and long talks. I still worry that this could be a rebound relationship for him or that he could go back to his wife because of family pressure (you know for the kids sake). Otherwise, he seems to be everything I am looking for. We have discussed my fears. He assures me it is over and truly wants our relationship to continue to grow and possibly be permanent. How do I put my fears to rest? I don't want my feelings to stand in the way of what could turn into a long term relationship.
First, good for you for talking about your fears! They are pretty valid fears, but if he left in January, that's almost a year ago now. And undoubtedly it wasn't a 'bolt out of the blue' leaving, he probably was thinking about leaving for some time. Yes, it'll still be hard as he works through the divorce, but he did take some time out in there, and after a year I think that dating again is pretty healthy.
You two have great talks, which is KEY in a relationship. You were open enough to discuss this with him, and he is said that he wants to work on the relationship. I think you should take this all as a great indication of how things will go in the future. Relationships are about trust. Trust in him, that what he said to you is true, and that you both are working together to make this relationship work. Hopefully everything will go smoothly with the divorce and you two will have many happy years together.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com