Getting Back my Ex
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I've have just recently broken up with my girlfriend, I love her with all my heart, I mean I would die for this girl, but I'm sad to say when we were together I never took the time to tell her how much she meant to me, I just always thought she would be there, but I was wrong. I was a bit of a moody guy, like tha smallest things would put me in a mood, I never once laid a hand on her, or acted as if I would, that's just not in my nature but I'm tha type that when I'm in a mood, I don't talk or nothing, I don't even change tha expression on my face, but with her I was in one of these like every third or fourth day.
I have seriously changed now, the break up made me look at exactly what I was getting angry at, and it hurts me to say, that nothing I got in a mood for really was worth tha emotions I gave it. I just don't know how to get her back.
Tha confusing part is we still sleep together, as we are very sexually compatable, I mean she is tha best I've ever had and vice versa, I just can't seem to get that connection we once had back as she tells me she just wants to be alone for a while, I can see that she is slowly losing her love for me, but mine grows for her ever day, to make it worse we work together.
please I need some advice on how to get her back, I know it's only been a week since we split and it's a good sign (in a way) that she still wants that sexual connection, and is also telling me when I bring up tha fact that I've lost her for good that "we don't know that cause we don't know tha future", we are still even planning on doing a world tour for a couple of years together, I just want to know ways I can eventaully get back in her arms and her in my arms tha way we used to be.
I mean I may be acting a bit hasty in wanting to be with her again so soon cause every good thing takes time, it's just that every day like I said, it feels as though I'm losing her that much more, and every day apart rips my heart to shreds, I want to call her every minute to tell her how much I miss her company, but I know ultimately that would just push her away.
It's very good that you realized how much your moodiness was destroying the relationship. It's very easy to make huge issues out of nothing at all, but in the end if you can't provide a stable relationship to the person you're with, they are going to seek it with someone else.
Love is about honesty and trust. You should NEVER want to retreat back to the way things were before. That is not what life is about. Life is about always learning, growing, changing and maturing. That is what she is doing. It is up to you whether to change with her or to keep trying to squash her back into the way things were before.
If you really want this to work, you have to stop obsessing about the little day to day things. You have to look at this as a long term best friendship. A week?? Think in the terms of months and years! Show her that you are growing and changing, that you appreciate how she is growing and changing and that you are willing to do that TOGETHER. That is what is key about the strong relationships. You don't try to force people to be "how they were". You are willing to grow with them to what they Will Be.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com