Should I Get Involved with an Engaged Woman?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have feelings for my immediate supervisor, however it is against company policy and she is presently engaged. We have really started with deep conversation and I kind of think she tries to flirt.

Maybe it is just innocent talk and I am overreacting but I am getting somewhat attached. I DO NOT want to compromise herself for me though. Now knowing all of this if kept low-key which it would should I persue this or move on? Advice
Hopefully it should be pretty clear that you should NOT get involved with a woman that is engaged to be married! Maybe she isn't really sure about the marriage and is "testing the waters" to see if there is a safety net if she changes her mind. That is NOT the position you want to be in! Even if she does decide not to get married, now you will have the stigma in her mind of being the "cause of her failure" and she won't want to be involved with you. It's sort of like being the rebound guy but even worse.

If she on her own decides to call the marriage quits and then is free and clear, that would be a fine time to start flirting up a storm. But as long as she is actively engaged with someone else, to flirt is not only setting yourself up to be the "cause of her trouble" but also proves to her in a direct way that you do not respect a commitment. If she then, later on, WANTS to find a guy to really commit to, you wouldn't be someone she could trust. She would remember that in the past you were quite happy to break up a relationship for your own reasons.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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