He cheated, do we try to make it work?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend cheated on me about two months ago. We have been apart for part of the two months and have recently started talking an seeing each other again. He has pleaded with me to understand that he has made a huge mistake, and wants me to give him another chance. I love him and desperately want to give him another chance but I am still angry and hurt. I always bring it up and we seem to fight all the time. Everyone I know has told me to leave him alone and I don't know what to do. Do I need to put it behind me and try again or should I just say goodbye?
This is REALLY really tough. Having someone that you trust betray you like that can and does destroy relationships completely. It's always a nagging worry after that - can I trust him *this* time? He's late getting home, where is he? It can really gnaw at your heart. Yes, some people make the mistake once and then never do again. But many others apologize because they want the 'good times' back, and then as soon as something more fun comes along, they're off again.
It sounds in any case like the pain is still too raw for you to go back into the relationship again. Call a time out and take some time along to heal and get through the pain. You have to be a fully supportive human on your own before you can really partner up with someone else, and if you go into the relationship (with him or anyone else) with this huge pain in your heart, it'll affect the relationship.
So concentrate on you. Spend time on things you enjoy, remind yourself of how much you deserve from life. In another month or two, maybe you can look at him with fresh eyes and try again, or maybe someone new will be in your life. You need to give yourself that time to heal, first.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com