The Jerk Kicked me Out of a Wedding - I Want him Back

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was the one that wrote you about the boyfriend moving in with his best friend and disrespecting me. well last saturday I was suppose to go with him to his cousins wedding reception but I ended up having to work. So we had just planned on meeting there. I went out bought a dress and shoes and got all girly uped. I got there and it took me a few minutes to find him, but I did. He was in the bridal party so I sat down by his mom and talked to her while they were doing the bridal dances. She introduced me to the rest of his family as his Girlfriend. After the dance was over another slow song came on. I walked up to him with intentions of dancing and he just looked at me as said didnt you get my message? what message I replied. I left you a voicemail telling you not to come. I just stood there trying to hold back the tears. I was like what did it say? He said he didnt want to get into it there we would talk about it later. I knew what it meant though I went and said good bye to his parents and had even brought a gift for his sisters baby that was just born, picked up my stuff and left.

he didnt call for a few days, so I called him and told him by avoiding the situation was only making it worse. so he called me back an hour later and just said he was busy... busy doing what I said? Hunting with his best friend. I thought it was bull crap. He said he couldnt talk then and said he would call me the next day. I didnt want to wait around so I called my best friend and she came over and we went over to his house to take his things back. Because I figured he wasnt gonna call. I felt really akward and just took his stuff in and turned around and walked out. he walked out after me, I was just gonna ignore him and get in the car but my best friend is like M dont you wanna explanation? so I turned around and started talking to him. He just had said that things were so messed up right now and how his feelings had changed for me. I said peoples feelings dont just change over night how long have you been feeling like this? he said a couple weeks. I said why then tell me now and not earlyier. he said that he had gotten stronger. When we talked though I got the impression that the breakup wasnt really what he wanted but didnt know how else to handle things. it would have been so much easier if he was a jerk when I took his stuff back but he just was so nice and said he was sorry for the way he was and handle things.

Obviously I know I cant make him fall back in love with me. But I know I was the most important thing to him. I still love him alot and I dont know what to do because if I tell him I want to be with him still wont that just say you can treat me how ever you want and I will still come back. I am all about second chances though. what should I do??? please help..... Advice
It's really not a good sign that he was unhappy all that time and never told you. How are you going to know in the future if he is actually happy or if he's just about to break up with you? Also, it was really slimy for him to tell you not to come via voice mail. Surely he could have called you or even stopped by work to tell you instead of putting you into that situation. That's really rude of him.

I would give it a few weeks and then, if you're really still interested in making it work, sit down and have a long talk with him. Ask him WHAT was bothering him about the relationship, in detail. Don't fight or disagree, just let him vent and get it all out into the open. That's the only way you can know what to even work on.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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