15 Year Old Girl, 23 Year Old Guy
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Last week I went to a party with some boys I work with. I used to visit the clothes shop where I work a lot because i don't know what it was but I was attracted to the guy who worked there. He looked at me everytime I went in there.
Anyway I needed a part time job (im 15) and so seeing as that shops near my house I decided to apply for one there. I got the job and I saw the guy looking at me as I went 4 the interview. I finally got to work with him and he thought I was 17/18. When I told him my real age he was shocked. But nevertheless, he was nice to me and everything.
Well at this party, I was with the other guys i work with. We were seated at the table and he kept like throwing stuff at me and we made eye contact a lot. My friend said he kept glancing over at me but I werent so sure. I was chatting to him and he said that he couldnt believe I was only 15. He told anova guy that he likes me (at least I think he did) but i was too young. I found out l8r that he was 23.
I told him I wouldnt go out wit sum1 who smoked coz i think it puts me off guys. He then promised hed give up. Anyway we made alot of eye contact etc. Then i asked him if he was dancin and he sed no way. so i danced wit dis other guy and we were holdin hands and he came over and joined us when he had sed he wud never dance coz its g(a)y. He then tried to pull my trousers down 4 a joke.
I saw him again on wednesday and he kept smiling at me and sed hello and my mate thought he liked me. But last nite I popped to the shop wit my mum but he didnt say anything. When we came out my mum asked why he was giving us strange looks.
Whats he up 2, does he like me? whats he playin at?
While age differences don't matter much when you're adults, they are HUGE problems when you are clearly a minor and he is clearly an adult in his mid-20s. That is against the law. It's not even that you are close to 18 - so it's not even a "close enough" sort of issue. You are many years away from being an adult.
He definitely sounds like he's attracted to you but feels very guilty for wanting a minor - especially when your mother is around! He probably worries that she will send the cops after him if he does anything at all.
While it might be fun to be friends with him, I would REALLY stay away from getting more serious about him. What a 23 year old guy wants out of life is much different than what a 15 year old girl wants out of life. I really doubt he can just give up smoking. Most people who smoke are addicted to it and it takes them years and years to break the habit. Just look at how much people for anti-smoking gum and patches and everything. The fact that he told you "Oh yeah I'll quit" doesn't show me that he's extremely honest about things. Also, you showed obviously that you enjoyed dancing. Even so he refused to dance with you and made fun of dancing. And he thought it was funny to try to undress you?? That's not the sort of joke that most guys would play with a girl they liked.
He really sounds like he's a player. The last thing you want is to be used and tossed out by this guy as a momentary distraction. Find a guy that is your own age, that you can grow and learn and have fun with in your own time. A guy that is 23 and who acts the way he does will push you into sex, have fun for a few months and then move along. That's not a fun situation to be in.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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