I Like a Guy but I'm Insecure
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have such a crush on a guy and so i had my friend to find out if there is a possible chance that we could go out or date and he said it was a possibility. that got me excited and i went into her class the other day and he came up to me put his arm around me and told me he liked my highlights.
when i left my friend asked him if that possibilty could be sooner and he said i dont know that would be weird like dating my sister or something like that but he doesnt know that i have had a crush on him ever since i saw him and thats why i love to be around him.
he works at the local convenience store and he says all the time man you are looking good whats up got a hot date and i am slightly overweight and that always is so nice to hear but i want to date him. i dont know if he is available or he even likes me that way. i dont know and he is all i look forward to is he too good for me becaus i am overweight or should i just move on and get over it be honest pleeze he is 18 and i am 16
First off, it sounds like you're obsessing a bit about your weight. No matter what MTV tells you, most teenagers do NOT look the way they promote. Most teenagers probably look JUST like you do. In fact in many cultures (including many parts of the US) a skinny girl is thought of as a "stick" and unhealthy. Many guys I know don't like dating skinny girls because it feels like a "stick doll" that you might break if you hugged it too tightly. They'd rather have a girl with meat on her bones, that stands up to robust hugging and kissing. So don't ever put yourself down for your weight. There are MANY guys out there who love you exactly the shape you are in now and would much rather date you than some rib-poking anorexic. It sounds like this guy in question is one of them.
Do NOT go having your friends ask guys personal questions!! It shows the guy you don't respect him enough to ask him yourself! If he has feelings towards you, wouldn't he rather tell YOU than tell some stranger that isn't even involved? What if some strange guy came up to you and asked you how you felt about another person? Would you really go sharing your deepest emotions with someone not even involved? Wouldn't you rather talk to the GUY about how you feel? A relationship is all about honesty and communication. That needs to start from the BEGINNING. If you can't even talk to him about the basic things, that doesn't bode well about actually maintaining the relationship either.
So stop using middle people. Talk to him. Spend time with him. Laugh with him and build a friendship. I have advice on doing that here -
but building the friendship with him up is CRITICAL to making this work.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com