My Boyfriend is Moving In with Another Woman
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend is contemplating on moving in with a 19 year old girl. I am 22 and he is 25. His lease is up at his house with his male roomate. We both are close to graduating college and have been together for 2 years.
There are plenty of good reasons for moving in with her, cheaper rent and his dog is allowed. The only problem i have with this situation is there is only one bathroom and she IS a girl.My boyfriend is attractive and has the best personality, funny and smart. I am not physically intimidated, but she is cute. I have a little fear of them becoming good friends and starting to like eachother.
Should i be worried? Is it a smart idea for him to move in with another girl?
You are exactly right in thinking this is NOT a good idea. Yes, he isn't going to do this with the INTENTION of cheating on you. But the world is full of temptation and one of the most important things about being in a relationship is that you do NOT put yourself deliberately into situations that can destroy the relationship. For example, if you started getting requests by guys to go out drinking and dancing every night instead of being with your boyfriend, I imagine you'd turn them down! Not because you felt you WOULD cheat when you went out - but because by constantly seeing other guys, and never seeing your boyfriend, it would naturally stress and probably break the relationship.
In the exact same way, if he is with this other girl 24 hours a day, around her in intimate situations, the intimate feelings naturally follow. And as much as he cares for you, he'll only see you occasionally. He'll see this other girl constantly and she will be "the girl in his life". It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what probably would follow.
It's easy to say that it's "easier" to do something. But life isn't about easy. Life is about taking the steps necessary to achieve the goals you want to achieve. There are millions of apartments in the world. A great many of them take pets. I know, I have pets. And we in developed nations already live the life of luxury compared to over 50% of the planet who are starving for food every day. So if he has to make a small sacrifice or two in order to be in a situation that best promotes his relationship with you, that small sacrifice still puts him ahead of the vast majority of human beings that there are. It will come down to whether he values his own material comfort more than he cares about making sure your relationship is cared for.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com