I kept leaving him, now I want him
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I dated a guy 2 different times and both times I left him because I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Well we just ran into eachother a couple weeks ago and started talking again. I'm ready for that serious relationship with him now but he's decided that he doesn't want it anymore because he's afraid i'll leave again. I've talked to him and told him how I feel now but he won't give me another chance and he won't pick up my calls anymore either.
What do I do? I really want to be with him. Help me.
There's a phrase, once bitten twice shy. There's another phrase, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. So this guy has already been burnt by you twice because you drew him in and said "No sorry I changed my mind". You probably told him the second time you dated that "i'm different now". So how can he trust you this time, that it will be any different?
Relationships are based on honesty and trust and so far he has been shown he can't trust you to stay with a relationship. What is to say that, even though you feel right now like you're ready, that after a few weeks you won't realize that this isn't right (again) and back out?
If you want things to work you have to rebuild the trust. It's in essence the same as rebuilding the trust in the case of one partner cheating on the other. You have to reform that trusting bond beteween you two. It can easily take months to do this, but if you put in the time and energy, it can be done.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com