My Best Friend has Betrayed Me

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
What do I do when my best friend...takes the guy of your dreams that I've been with? She knows I'll never get over him and that I feel so strongly about him, but no she's going for him.

I'm in a huge fight with her..i won't talk to her or anything, i cant stand the thought of them being together. I can't believe she's betrayed me like this! She knows hes the only guy I ever have loved! What do i do?!? Advice
First, I would stop calling this girl your best friend. Obviously she is selfish and is thinking about herself more than any relationship she's in. Which is REALLY bad news for any guy she dates! If she can't even stand by her best girlfriend, how can any guy trust her? If she is willing to betray someone for her own selfish needs, chances are she's going to cheat on this guy, too, as soon as she feels a bit bored. That is NOT the kind of person any guy wants to be with.

All this being said, you are acting as if this guy is a shiny penny on the floor that just sits there idly while you two fight over him. Give him more credit than that. Guys have brains and actively choose who they want to be with. If a guy is with a girl he really cares about it doesn't matter WHO walks up and tries to lure him away - he will stand by her. That is what loyalty and trust is about - something your best friend is completely lacking.

So if you are right for this guy, he will respect that and stay with you. Something like your girlfriend trying to seduce him wouldn't affect him at all - if anything he'd be turned off that your supposed friend would try to break up the relationship you had.

Talk to him. You said he's "your guy" so I am assuming you guys are dating. Explain to him how jealous this girl is and how you are no longer friends because you do not respect her behavior. Emphasize how much you love him, and continue to spend time together, enjoying each other.

If he IS swayed by her immature behavior, he really isn't the guy for you. You may have DREAMED of him but it sounds in that case like you idealized his honorable qualities - and that in reality he goes for the sleaze factor. If that's the case, it might be best if you left those two for each other. If they're both like that, they'll both end up hurting each other in the end, which is probably what they deserve.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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