He's Cheated Twice - Should I Stay?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
i have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half and he has always promised me that he would never cheat in me, but yesterday he told me he has cheated twice.
i dont know what to do, i love him more than anything in the world and i dont want to break up. he says he still loves me as much as he always did! why would he do this to me if he did? would i ever be able to trust him again if we stay together?
If he had cheated just one time, because he got drunk at a party, and he came home and told you right away, that would have been something you two could work through. But instead he lied to you for months and months, he cheated TWICE, and now he wants things to just go on as they have.
But he has betrayed your trust - and he has put your health at risk. What if he gave you a dangerous sexual disease and it seriously hurt you? Didn't he even care enough for you to warn you that you should go to a doctor, just in case? Instead he put his own pleasure over the well being and safety of you.
I would really sit down with him with a therapist - even if you just go for 1 or 2 sessions - to find out just what is going on with him. If you get some professional help maybe you can get to the root of his issues and find a solution. But if you just try to say "OK well he'll be better from now on", he probably will keep cheating and lying, and you could be seriously harmed as a result.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com