He's Cheating on Me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating and seeing this guy for one year and seven months. When i fist met him he told me he had a girlfriend for eight years i did not know about the other one which i learnt of some months down the line. The girlfriend he told me of eight years broke off with him and we got stronger in our relationship.
When i confronted him about the other one after telling him that i was leaving because he was not honest enough to tell me of the other one we discussed it he admited it and i told him he has got to make up his mind he told me he would, time went by and people told me they were still together we use to have many heated arguments concerning this until i decided to calm down and see what happens.
i thought everything was over because i heard she was having sexual affairs with other people and had a boyfriend where she slept by to my awareness as woman i noticed like it had cooled of i suspect because of his friends they had told him he got to know and cooled off, but lately they saw him at a party with her when he told me he was somewhere else.
how do i handle this situation as i was told by the person that saw them that he saw them . How do you think of my situation in this? I really need advice as i think of myself in this triangle at a health risk as also what is going on in this mans mind. He spends weekends with me alot as well as holidays it looks like it is every other week or maybe two weeks will pass and they get together i know he spends more time with me but there are lots of other issues i may not know about please let me know soon what you think
You really need to get this resolved pronto. This is a HUGE HUGE health risk for you - not only is your guy sleeping around, but he's sleeping around with a woman who plays the field! Who knows what sexual diseases you could come down with and some of them are really dangerous. A relationship is all about trust and honesty. Your guys is continually lying to you for his own pleasure, and doesn't give a darn about how it harms you.
Yes, you like him for some of his traits. But this betrayal and dishonesty he is doing is ALWAYS going to harm you. He doesn't respect you. He is using you and still having his fun elsewhere because his priority is the fun. He already lied to you right from the very beginning about this - and he has continued to lie during your entire relationship.
I know it's hard, you are used to being with him and it's comfortable. But only you can speak up for yourself and to let him keep using you like this not only is water torture for your self esteem, but it could truly harm you physically. You really should sit down and have a serious talk with him - I have tips on that here -
and be brutally honest. Either he - after almost 2 years - makes the decision to be serious about you, or you need to find someone who will.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com