She's Dating a Jerk

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Here's the problem. I like a girl who's dating another guy. The guy dosn't treat her the way he should. He's not abusive or anything, but he doesn't really care about her. He sets up rules for her and such. Once he even told her that she wasn't allowed to see me or my friends.

I told her how i felt and i know that she loves me as much as I love her, but something keeps her from breaking up with this other guy. They took a "break" from each other recently, but before i could ask her out on a date they were back together again.

I haven't pressured her to break up with him, in fact I hardly mention it. I'm just waiting for my chance. But I fear it will never come. What should I do? Advice
People date jerks for all sorts of complex reasons and often find it hard to escape them. But believe me, in the end, most of those relationships fall apart because a jerk is simply a pain in the butt to be with. It's never worth it.

So be her friend and definitely don't try to break them up. You do NOT want to be the person she blames for that. Instead, be her friend, be supportive and be patient. She has to grow up at her own pace. When she finally develops enough self esteem, she will realize that she DOES deserve much more than the jerk is giving her - and she will be strong enough to call it quits. When she does, you will be there waiting for her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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