He Chased Me, He Got Me, He Abandoned Me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now) told me he wanted to take a break 2 weeks ago. He said that he needed some space and wanted to spend more time with his friends. He told me that the space would make us grow and that he did not want to break up.
A week later, he told me that he wanted to break up because he didn't want a commitment and he was unhappy in the relationship. I don't understand because he pursued me and we rushed into this relationship. We were only together for a month and I became really attached to him.
We both care about each other so much. We spent so much time together. He also told me that he didn't want to lose me, but if he doesn't than why is he ending the relationship. I feel like there is another girl, but i am not sure. The problem is that I miss him so much and I want him back.
I know I should move on, but I can't help it. Everything reminds me of him and I have distractions, but it doesn't help, I still keep thinking about him. What should I do?
There are some people out there - male AND female - who love the chase. They get excited by the whole date-and-conquer part of relationships and then get bored. And then they don't bother to tell the person why they're leaving, they just sleaze their way out of the relationship and move on to a new person.
It really sounds like this guy falls into that situation. He chased you down! He got you! He had a great month with you! But as soon as that new-relationship fun started to wear off, he drifted off and never bothered to tell you. First he slides off in a "let's take a break" so you don't bother him with questions about what he is doing - and then when he has some space from you he goes "Oh yeah and I'm not coming back." Not very nice.
It's always hard to break up. That's why all the songs and movies and books about breaking up exist. But in this case it is a VERY GOOD THING for you to get away from that guy and to find someone worthy of you. I have lots of advice on breaking up here -
read it and just give yourself time. It'll take time to get over him, but treat yourself well and hang out with friends. Soon you'll meet a guy MUCH better than your ex and you will be much happier!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com