Telling my Best Friend her Man is Cheating On Her

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My best friend and her boyfriend have been together for years. Over time, with worsening problems, his bitterness has grown and one night after a big fight, they broke up. Since that time,they have reunited and separated several times. I know for certain he has cheated on her. This last time they broke up, she saw him holding hands with another woman, but when confronted he was able find some lame excuse to dispel her suspicions and she believes him.

I haven't told her what I know. I have been supportive through her moments of depression and hysteria. He knows I know about him. He continues to string her along, claiming he needs time but is not seeing anyone.

Should I be straightforward or allow her to be strung along like this? I feel the only way she would stop believing him is if she caught him having sex w/someone. Advice
You definitely should TELL HER. It's bad enough that the guy in her life is betraying her - to have her good friend help along the betrayal is just too much.

Yes she is a bit single-minded in WANTING things to work - but a great relationship MUST be based on honesty. If you turn it into a fantasy world, you are asking for disaster. She can't date a disaster. And have her read some of the other stories on this site - women get DANGEROUS sexual diseases from their betraying guys. She's not only risking her little fantasy world here - she's risking her own health as well as the health of any children she might have.

If she insists on proof, then work with her to get it. It doesn't sound like it should be hard. But someone who lies to her like that should NOT be kept in her life. She only gets one life in this world. To risk it on a lying guy is just WRONG.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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