We Keep Breaking Up - Is This It?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
my boyfriend n i have been going out for 11mths...its 11 days to our 1yr anniversary but we just broke up today. it hasn't been a smooth relationship, we've broken up several times. but this one is final i guess... i jus wanna ask hw to get get over him. we have gotten pretty close... but i jus want to get over him as soon as possible. help me...
Well first, if you keep breaking up and getting back together again, that could happen now, too. But if you do get back together, you really have to break this cycle. Your relationship is getting to the point where you think it's "normal" to just give up if things get difficult. A relationship should be about *being there* for each other when things get difficult. If you don't break this habit now, it's going to happen when it really is important, and that would be a shame.
If it does end up being final, though, think of the relationship as a HUGE learning experience about stick-with-it-ness. The most important thing in any relationship is trust and reliability. You've seen here how much it can really hurt a relationship if you can't rely on each other, so this is an incredibly valuable lesson to have learned.
You can't take a magic pill and get over someone you cared about. If you could, would you really want to, to show your feelings were so shallow that they can just evaporate on a whim? The fact that you do feel the loss shows that you are a person with feelings, that you care about things. These are VERY valuable traits. It's going to be painful for a while. All breakups are. It's something every human deals with. So think of this as your connection with the rest of the human race, young and old, far and near. I have tons of hints on getting through a breakup here -
Just take it a day at a time, and in a month or two you'll look back and think about how much you've grown because of this!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com