He Has to Move, He's Cut Off Contact
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This guy and I met and we really clicked right away. We knew how to treat each other, please each other, and we had a pretty good relationship.
That is until he told me he has to move somewhere that is halfway across the state. After he told me that, he would try to avoid me by not returning my calls, or telling me he has some one else on the other line, or just by telling me he was busy and couldn't go anywhere. 2 days later, he dumped me. And I was an emotional wreck.
Apparently so is he by what his friend told me. His friend told me that when he talked to him about us, he said he has no choice, and that he has to move within a month, and us being together until he leaves will make it harder on the both of us to let go of each other. Well, he also said that he truely does love me, and when he moves a part of me will always be with him.
But since that last time that his friend talked to him, he hasn't been answering my calls, hasn't been answering his friend's, and when we call for him at his home, his Aunt tells us that he isn't there. If he is staring at his cell phone when I call or telling his aunt to tell us that he isn't there, is it because he's trying to avoid me because he doesn't want to make it any worse for us?
When teenagers move apart it almost always causes the relationship to end. Teenagers want to have a partner around to go to dances with, to hang out with after school, to go to parties with. So your guy figures that with the long distance involved, since he can't easily drive out to see you all the time, that it makes sense to call it quits. He doesn't like it, you don't like it, but he's trying to be reasonable here and not make things even worse.
Then you and his friend start trying to call him all the time and rub it in his face just what a good thing he's going to be missing. He's avoiding you guys! So yes he doesn't want to make it worse. He knows he likes you! He knows he's going to miss you. Seeing you a lot in the last days are just going to rub it in that he is losing a great girlfriend because of something he can't control.
If he's really this upset I wouldn't make things worse on him. Undoubtedly he'll come back and visit his aunt sometimes and you can see him as a friend then, when he is more over things. But right now he's very upset that he has to break up with you, and it might be best if you can give him some time to get through this.
You can of course stay long distance friends with him once he settles into his new home - I have lots of advice on that here -
but keep it a friendship, at least for a while. The less pressure you have, the more chance of success.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com