Dating a Guy on the Rebound
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
i have fallen for this guy who i've only just met. we get on ok most of the time but he's still trying to get over his ex who he was in love with. i can't work out where i stand with him and we stopped talking after a disagreement. what should i do?
This guy is on the rebound which is a REALLY REALLY dangerous time to date someone. He's all confused, he has feelings for his ex, he might use you just to prove "see I can date other people! I'm over my ex!" and then once he's proven his point he'll drop you because in his mind you are now associated with his ex.
You really have to be just friends with him while he works through this all, and you have to be patient. He's going to be sad, he'll miss his ex, he'll be angry, he'll want to prove he's attractive to other women. You can't rush this and if you try to pressure him you'll just make things worse.
So you have to make a decision here. Are you willing to wait and be patient? If you can, then when he's done rebounding you might have a great partner. But if you are NOT patient and try to "hurry him along" or "fix him" you will make things worse and the relationship you end up with will probably explode quite spectacularly over something.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com