Choosing Between Two Girls
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
ok theres girl 1 and girl 2
i like girl 1 alot and im kind of in a dilemma, well girl 1, i think kind of has feelings for me but i dont know for sure. girl 2 has feelings for me and i think girl 1 doesnt want to get close to me becuz she doesnt want to hurt girl 2 since there best friends. i wanna tell girl 1 how i feel but im kind of scared of being rejected. the reason why im worried about being rejected is becuz girl 1 i think has feelings for another guy but no one knows becuz she wont tell anyone. what should i do?? tell girl 1 how i feel or wait it out a lil longer??
Ah, this is the sort of situation they write movie scripts about :) It's good that you're being cautious here. If you have two girls that both like the same guy, it can really cause troubles in their friendship when one gets him and the other doesn't. But in the end they can't both have him (usually anyway) so you have to just try to do this as painlessly as possible.
You have to choose which one you like the best. If that's girl 1, so be it. Girl 2 will be sad, but in the end, you have to be with someone you like. So if you'd gone with girl 2 even though you didn't like her much, the relationship wouldn't have been happy for her. So she is much better off finding someone who DOES really like her just the way she is, and can make her happy. It might be hard for her to see that, but this is in her best interest, to keep her free for that guy.
So back to Girl 1. It's always dangerous to just blurt out things like "I like you a lot!". It's far, far better to SHOW how you feel instead of jumping into saying it. So build up your friendship with Girl 1. Ask her about her day. Talk to her about her hobbies. Offer to take her to a movie she's wanted to see. Don't leap into dating her - just be there for her. You'll find out quickly enough if she's interested in spending time with you, and if she enjoys being with you. If she is, then just spend more time with her! And hug her goodbye, and offer your coat when she's cold. Build up the contact. While you're at it, maybe poke around for another guy to come along sometimes that Girl 2 might like. She might thank you for finding her the perfect guy to be friends with :)
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com