Should I Date or Should I Roam?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex-boyfriend and I of two years broke up about a year ago mainly because of college. However, we never lost touch and neither of us have been able to let go completely. He started seeing someone else and I have gone on a couple of dates, but neither of us were serious about starting another relationship.

Just recently we have been seriously talking about getting back together. We both realize that we are at that point in our lives that if we do get back together... it could be forever. However, I haven't dated anyone else and am curious about what could be out there, but I know that I would be happy with him.

I am just sick of being a walking soap opera and any advice you could give me on this situation would be great. thank you. Advice
In the end, if you're going to be curious about other guys you will ALWAYS be curious about other guys whether you've dated 1 or 100 of them. There are guys of every shape and size, every interest, every hair color, every hairyness. It's not like you run out of guys. So if you start to think "is he good enough?" that question can never be answered. There is ALWAYS someone better in some way, someone handsomer or richer or stronger or whatever it is you wish to judge by. The partner you have in life is who you have CHOSEN - and not the person who is "#1 in the world according to scale X".

And really if you are asking yourself that it also means that you're not thrilled with this current guy, because you're wondering if someone else would be better suited. So if you want to date around, then date around. You should NEVER feel like you're "settling" for a guy. You should be fully happy that you have that guy. To feel otherwise is pretty much an insult to him - he deserves to be with someone who loves him fully, not someone who feels he is 'sort of OK'.

That all being said, you're not talking about marrying him. You're just talking about dating him again. And believe me, if things don't work out while you date someone, you break up. You have another 2 years of college (I assume) and TONS of people date during college intending to stay together afterwards, and break up as soon as they graduate because now they have different priorities. So to make a decision now worrying about what will happen in 2 years is a bit premature. Just make a decision now to date or not date. The rest will come when it comes.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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