I want more time, she wants less
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
ive been with my girlfriend for a year and half and all the way through our relationship ive wanted to see her more than we do see each other. I'm at university and she is at college, i do 5 days a week and she does 2.
I always manage to make time for her but she cant do the same. Its got to a point where we only see each other once a week. I can't stand that, it is not enough. I have tried meeting her in the middle. I want at least two days a week.
I have talked to her about this many times and again last night and we still haven't solved this issue. She always says things like "its only 6 days since we last saw each other" I feel she has taken me granted and that i have become to predicatble. She never calls or texts me unless i text her first. We both have absolute trust in each other and we are each others first love. What can i do?
Every human being has different needs for affection and it is VERY RARE that two people line up exactly. You want lots of attention. She is happy with only a little. She probably has friends and other things to do with her life, and when she's not with you she's quite happy with her normal life.
That is normal and how every relationship should be. Each person should be happy with their own life, happy with their family and friends and hobbies, and then SHARE that happiness with each other when they see them. But you shouldn't HAVE to see each other constantly to be happy.
So it sounds like you have become unhappy with your life unless she is there - while she is HAPPY with her life and in addition loves you. So now you are burdening her with "making you feel happy" and then you make her feel guilty when she isn't able to do that enough.
If you really and truly MUST be with a girl lots of times a week, and she is content with only occasional contact, then she may not be the girl for you. She would be quite happy with a guy that only wanted weekly contact. You would be quite happy with a girl that you could see every day. Your two sets of needs are very different. Yes you can LOVE each other but as far as someone to DATE it sounds like you need to find more suited partners. For you to try to force her to "change" to be what you demand in a girlfriend is unfair. Love is about accepting someone FULLY for the way they are - it's not about trying to alter someone until they fit your ideal of "what a girlfriend should be".
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com