Drawn to a Widow who was a Friend
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Okay I'll make this as short and uncomplicated. If I can. My best friend died several years ago leaving behind a wonderful child who is now 12 and is wonderful and well adjusted. Though, I have kept in touch with my friend's family I haven't seen the child's father in about 6-7 years (when she died). Now, that he and I have talked and hung out a few times I feel he is attracted to me.
I have never been attracted to this man 20 years older than I, but now it seems we have both grown up and changed and we get along wonderfully and have a great time and alot in common. We haven't been out alone. Always with the child. Whom I really love and loves me in return.
Now the guy is asking me on trips and wanting to do things with me and him and the child alot over the last week.
I don't want to affect my relationship with my friends family, hurt the child or anything that could cause chaos and pain.
You guys have given this AMPLE time to let him get over his emotions and become ready for a new relationship. It wasn't that you persued him (or he you) on the rebound. Instead you took your time and things grew naturally, and everybody is happy.
I don't see that there's anything wrong here at all!! It is NATURAL for him to find someone new with which to build a life and heal his family. It's wonderful that he found you and you are equally as happy with them both! With so many step-families having stress between the newcomer and the child, this is about the best situation they could have hoped for.
I am sure that you will get a lot of support from family and friends who see how happy you are all together. Stepfamilies are never easy - but it sounds like yours is off to a stellar start!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com