Getting Over a Guy

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
ok, well.. there is this guy that i have been through alot with.. i mean.. yeah.. we have known each other for the last 3 years, and everything.

i fell for him hard this summer, and for a while, i believe he liked me back, but there was another chick that he liked, that he neglected to tell me about, Until i found out from his mom, and brother.

i was writing in my journal, and i wrote something about him it said,"i wonder if he is thinking about me. doubt it he is probably thinking about this chick i keep hearing about from his family"

he read it, and from then on out he would find someway to get her into the conversation, well the other day, i got mad at him, and told him to go away, i didn't want to see him, that he had drove me mentally insane, and it took me going into the Ladies room to get rid of him. the next day he asked her out.. she said no. but.. yeah.. anyways..

i went over there last weekend, and he avoided me.. didn't say anything to me.. except for a hi, which he was made say, his mom said i should get over him, and move on.. but everything i do, has some memories of him in it.. like my bed.. has alot of memories of him... yeah.. and it hurts to look at his picture.. so all in all I want to get over him, but i don't know how... Advice
As the song says, breaking up is hard to do. Sure, you guys weren't officially dating, but you cared a lot about him and spent time with him, so having that friendship lost is just as bad (if not worse) than a breakup.

You've seen it in movies and read about it in books - breakups can take a LONG time to heal from. There's no magic formula, no special thing you can do to POOF be rid of the sad feelings. You need to give yourself time to heal. Do things with your friends, spend time watching your favorite movies, doing your favorite hobbies, listening to your favorite music. Splurge on yourself and remind yourself of just what a fun time you can have.

After a while you will think about him less and less, but it takes times. It can take weeks or months to get him out of your system. Don't try to rush it, don't worry if you feel sad sometimes. It's normal. But keep concentrating on doing things you love with people you care about, and soon you WILL get through it and find a boyfriend who really cares about you and makes you happy.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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