Lying to my Girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I have a girlfriend for two months, because I don`t trust her completely yet, I want to try to make a chat with another boy name to see what will she do, and I like a one to one friendship with her at school , could you help me that first is it right that I do the chatting , and what should I do to make her to have a one to one relation only with me, thank you.
O-ho-ho wait a minute, you are a distrustful person, so you want to betray your girlfriend's trust and lie to her and see how she reacts to that?? I'll tell you how *I* or my friends would react to that - we'd drop you like a lead weight! A boyfriend should be supporting and caring for and trusting his girlfriend, not playing mind games and trying to find ways to hurt her!!
If she is your girlfriend you should TRUST her. Trust is about having faith in someone the way they are. It is NOT about "playing games with" someone and seeing if they fail your games. Because if you distrust her - then why would you trust her even when she passes your games? You could just think, "well she didn't cheat THIS time but maybe NEXT time ..." You can NEVER prove someone is "always innocent". So to even start TRYING is showing you don't trust her, and without trust, the relationship cannot work.
If she is your girlfriend, then yes, she shouldn't be DATING anyone else. But she should have other friends - both male and female! Having friends is CRITICAL to the health and well being of every human being.
It sounds like you really have to do some work on your jealousy and trust issues. Having a girlfriend is about trusting her and caring for her. It's about wanting her to be really happy. So spend time with her, encourage her to have friends, talk with her a LOT and really be her best friend. That is the way to build a relationship that lasts.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com