The First Real Date

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
hi ok this guy i met in drivers ed likes me we went to a movie together but my friend went with me b/c i really didn't want to go by myself. he called me tonight and wants to know i want to go to a movie with him tomorrow to see the ring. i want to go but i'm scared what if he trys to kiss me or what if he wants to makeout??!!!?? i've never done that!!! help!!!! Advice
OK, first, it's great that he likes you enough to want to see you again :) So concentrate on that happy part :)

As far as anything else goes, he would be a BAD BOYFRIEND if he at all pressured you into anything. Kissing and hugging is all about TWO people who both want to do it. If he's at all good, he will gently hold you. And see how you react. If you're nervous, he will stop there! If he at all goes "after you" to start making out, I would really be worried about him, because the next time he could be pushing you into other things as well. A boyfriend should be someone you trust with your life, someone who you rely on. He should NEVER be someone you are worried about being with.

OK, so let's say that during the movie he puts his arm around you and you're sort of excitedly nervous. He's not "pushing" you, he's being with you. I REALLY doubt he will try to start kissing you at the movies, that would be in really poor taste on the first date alone. And plus it's a scary movie. So probably you'll just snuggle close. Do the whole "I'm scared" and he'll put his arm around you and you can be safely snuggling and happy in that. Which is good :)

OK, so now he's taking you home. If you were snuggling in the theater, then you might want to hold hands walking home, that's always quite nice! And yes, he might wonder if you want a good night kiss before you go in. If you haven't even snuggled before tonight it would NOT be a good idea to launch into making out, and I really doubt he'd try. If he does you would be quite right in holding back, because the whole point of making out is that you've already kissed a few times and enjoyed that part. If you dive into making out you lose the incredible pleasure of the first kisses. And again I really doubt he'll dive into making out. So let's say after snuggling at the movie, and holding hands walking home, he is thinking about a nice good night kiss.

The first good night kiss with a guy is usually a close-mouthed, gentle one. These can be GREAT because they involve full body contact :) So first give him a hug goodbye, which should be OK for you guys if you're dating. Hopefully you already feel comfortable hugging! And then when you draw back, don't draw back fully. Look up at him, and then press your lips gently against his, and hold there for a few seconds with the rest of you still together. It's an AMAZING feeling, it's not "scary" because you know exactly what is going on, and it's the perfect way to end the date.

Good luck!

I have more tips on kissing and such here -

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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