Obsession with a Girl
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
when we were together she liked someone else who was... a lot of miles away....So at summertime she went to see her family... but he was staying at the same town she went... so she saw him I think.... and when she came back we were just not like before... and I think she is comparing everyone with him...
i don't know the guy but I know for sure that he rejected her and that they never had anything. Her sister told me about it... and now we have a good relationship but she keeps telling me that she doesn't like me anymore... how could she liked me before.... and suddenly after seeing this guy....she just doesn't like me anymore?
I always tried to be next to her. I was making her happy... and she was also making me happy... and I really can't understand... if it was my fault or if it was something else... we were so happy together... it was like a dream... and suddenly... she erased me from her life... and now I am destoying my own life cause I can't move on and you something?
I don't wanna let her go... I need her... so, no matter how perfect I will be it is up to her...something else now... on XX she has her bithday... it's nine days after mine... any ideas...? can you gimme an idea? i wanna do something special... but I don't know what! something that she will like!
You need to take a step back here and make sure that it is not obsession that is breeding here. Life is not about dreams. Life is about reality, about accepting reality and understanding it. I really doubt she went POOF from really liking you to really not liking you. It could be that she was fond of you before, but that her heart was taken by someone else and now she is interested in that other person.
Even if that is the case, you can still be her friend - unless you are pressuring her to be more than that. As a friend, talk to her, spend time with her, stay a part of her life. It is NOT about you being perfect OR her being perfect. No human being is perfect! It is about you two being FRIENDS.
And if you are friends, you shouldn't have to ask ME what to get her for her birthday!! Isn't that something that a friend knows? How would I know what she wants? :) Don't you know what her hobbies are, and her interests?
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com