Flirting with a Guy who is Taken

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have worked with this guy for about five months, and he never really saw me. Than one night he did, and ever since, he would peak out of the kitchen (where he works) to see me. We would both play little games like that. I didn't know that he smoked,and one day I had to have a cigarette, and he came outside too. After that, everytime I came into work, he would always say, hows it going. The first time he said it, his head was down and he wouldn't look at me.

A couple of days ago, I asked him if he wanted to go smoke, and he always came. Right when we got outside, he asked about what school I went to...and now we talk.

Here's the kicker. He always starts conversation with me, but he has a girlfriend. He won't answer her call when hes with me, and has only said two things about her. That her voice is annoying, and her friend has a cool car.

I thought he liked me, but I don't know, and its driving me crazy. I asked him if he took morning or evening classes, and he gave me his entire schedule....what do I do? Advice
Obviously the guy likes you, but also obviously, he is NOT a very loyal guy. Here he is already with a girlfriend and he is "trying you out" to see if he should leave her. Let's assume you do "lure him away" and he starts dating you. Now, the moment you guys have any sorts of issues, he is NOT going to talk with you about them. He's just going to start flirting with someone else, maybe cheat on you with this new person and the next thing you know, he's going to abandon you for "new girl".

I wouldn't avoid the guy, but I would definitely put him into the player category. In fact what I would do is start to ask him more directly about this girlfriend of his, what he likes about her and so on. If he says he doesn't, then ask why he stays with her, since she would obviously be happier with someone else who really DID like her. Maybe it will wake him up.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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