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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



My Girlfriend is Drifting Away



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend has become very distant the last few weeks, we have not been connecting very well at all. The more distant she becomes the more I try to reach her and the more distant she becomes...all of our conversations seem to revolve around this tangled mess that we can't navigate out of. Each conversation seems to make the problem worse rather than finding solutions.

On top of it all she seems to be very flirtatious with my friend. They have always had a very close friendship, but lately her body language is just 'more' toward him...she even jumped on him the other night and they fake wrestled...it drove me insanely jealous. What should I say to her? Should I call her out on it?




RomanceClass.com Advice
It does sound like she's drifting away and if you call her on one specific example of it (the wrestling) she'll just have an excuse for that one particular situation. Instead the problem is the whole ROOT here and not those ways in which the root are being shown. So you need to talk with her and find out what the real base issue is - without nit-picking on the ways in which she is SHOWING that she is unhappy.

I have advice here on how to talk about an issue -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/hardtalk.asp

sit down with her and be really honest and ask her to be the same. The only way you guys can make this work is to talk about issues and find solutions together. The more you keep looking just as the things she does BECAUSE she is unhappy or fight about those things, the worse it is going to get.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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