I Want Sex Now
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I dont think of having sex as a task...i really feel im ready and my boyfriend means a lot to me, and this is an experience i would love to share with him. How do i start things off? i dont want to just jump into bed and have sex. i want it to be intimate. I know this is something im going to do. i would be really thankful for your help!
I don't think you read my previous response to you. Sex isn't a "thing" you do. Intimacy is a collection of millions of DIFFERENT things you do that are all interrelated that you do OVER A LONG TIME to build up the sensations. They all start with the gentlest touch and kiss. You don't then just "plow through all other 999999 things" and end up at sex on the next day. It takes MONTHS to get through all the intermediate steps, as you go through massaging the toes on some days, kneading the neck on some days, nuzzing the breast on some days and so on.
To even say "We have kissed, now we want to have sex" shows just how much you DON'T know about all that intermediate area - and here you are wanting to skip it all!
My point is to NOT jump to sex because you are going to miss out on the most amazing parts of life. Many people who DO have sex are bored with it! And most of the time that is because they just wanted to "have it" - just like you do - instead of wanting to be INTIMATE with their partner, which is what I am telling you to SLOWLY work on, step by step.
It's like a dance. You don't say "I want to tango so show me the final leap"! The tango is about the WHOLE DANCE from start to finish. So do the dance FROM start to finish the way it was meant to be done. So KISS your boyfriend, and keep kissing him in different ways, and LEARN about each other as you go.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com