Flirting with the Popular Girl

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
There is this girl at school who i really like, but it's really hard to talk to her, because she is always in a big crowd with her "popular" friends. Even when she's alone, it's hard to talk to her, because i am just a little... shy. maybe more than a little.

I wish i could just talk to her!! what should i do??? Advice
You are creating imaginary social lines here!! What, is this the days of the castes that people were not allowed to date across? Believe me, when you get out of high school NOBODY is going to care about "popular" or "not popular". They care about what people are LIKE as human beings. And a lot of "popular" people end up deserted because all they were were pretty faces and nothing else.

You need to think about her as a *person* - not about a "popular chick". You need to think about her as a girl with regular needs and hopes, not as a "part of the in-crowd". Find times you can talk with her alone, and just talk with her as you would any other person. If you put her on a pedestal, it will NOT work. But if you treat her as a good friend - someone who you can hang out with and just chat with - it will work.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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